17 Again: a story about loving yourself for who you are

So most people talk about how "skinny" they were in their teenage years but as life happens (boys, marry, babies) the weight creeps up and up before they know it they are now “overweight” Well my story is different…

At the ripe young age of 17 I weighed in at 127.5kg (over 20 stone) clothes size 24+, Croatian background, my parents were brought up poor with not much of anything including food, so they made a promise that their children would never go hungry.... and boy did they keep that promise and continue to do so....

It all started when I was 18 and began to go out to night clubs where I saw all these amazing skinny girls around and most of who were my friends. I noticed that the "male species", were always just my “friends” and wanted nothing more. They usually chatted to me so they could get closer to one of my “skinny friends” I was their go to friend.

One night whilst out, I said to my friends THAT IS IT, I PROMISE YOU I AM GOING TO ONE DAY WEAR A SHORT SKIRT WITH HIGH BOOTS (fashion back then) AND BE SKINNY. The next day mum took be off to Jenny Craig (my choice and decision), long story short, lost 60kgs in 10 months. Wow, I was one of the “skinny” girls now and life would be “perfect” were my thoughts. For a short time it certainly was, “male species” were now noticing me, they no longer just wanted to be my friend, they wanted MORE!!! Although the “outside” of me was totally “different” the inside was still the same. So after “kissing” a few boys and going on dates and having what I thought was the “perfect life” I then started to get really ANNOYED. I thought how dare they now “like” me now because I looked “the part” I’m still ME, the inside of ME hasn’t changed. Still young and immature I didn’t handle this criticism about myself very well and I sabotaged most of the “hard work” I had done in that 10 months and the weight started to creep back up. PS, I did get to wear the short skirt with the high boots…ha!!

At this point, is where we are now, my lifelong yoyo dieting, getting trim, gaining, getting trim, gaining and it goes on and on and on.

However now at the age of soon to be 43 years YOUNG, I feel I’m more in control of my “lifelong weight battles” I say that lightly but confidently.

I’m not that “skinny” girl I was for a very short time, but I’m also not the 127.5kg version either.

I love working out, but I love my food, have an amazing husband and daughter and have (not many), true quality friends in my life.

One thing I have learnt though, in that 10 months of Jenny Craig, I did not eat or drink not ONE SINGLE THING that I was not suppose to. So when I decided to stop, thinking I had control of it now, I craved for all the things I couldn’t have in that 10 months, and the weight piled back on so quickly.

These days, I’m all about life long changes, its OK to have a bad day here and there, as long it doesn’t continue on a regular basis, it can be controlled. Sure there are still a few bad habits I need to get a hold of, and I will in time, whilst I’m working on those, I’m not going to let the “good changes” I’ve made slip away.

I’m ALIVE and I’m HAPPY!!!

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